Stargate fics

[le_russe_satan]

Small pieces of Stargate fic, written for various prompts.

3 Mary Sue prompts fromleupagus:
 
 

1. Teyla gets her driver's license and buys a car. Driving in Northern California with her is probably the scariest thing John can do on Earth.

John sort of knows in the back of his head that Teyla spends some of her time off attending driving lessons. The only reason he does dwell on this at all is because of the surprise and amusement he feels at how easily O'Neill allows Teyla off Atlantis without any supervision. But then Teyla seems to have all the men wrapped around her little finger. So a couple of months later, when the SGC does talk them into taking some serious time off, it comes as a bit of a shock when Teyla suggest taking a road trip.

'Seriously? You're kidding, right?' John says, and Teyla gets that slightly frown-y look that never fails to make him like a misbehaving little boy who is really gonna feel the sticks hit next time they spar.

'I believe it would be educational for Ronon and me to see more of your country, John. A road trip seems to be a very common Earth tradition according to many of your movies. Do you not want us to share in your culture?' Of course John has to agree: he hates it when Teyla makes him feel guilty.

When they finally see Teyla's car John's IQ, - yes, he could have been in Mensa, no matter how much the four (they told Carter and Zelenka too) scientists snicker at him, - goes from triple figures to zero in one second because Teyla in a muscle car. HOT. Even Rodney stops bitching about how his back is not going to survive this particular ordeal.

His brain function does not start to recover until about three hours later when they stop for a toilet break. John's flew jets, has been in a lot of life and death situations, has been in battle and had freaking Wraith fed on him. His never been so utterly terrified until today. The first half an hour John spent shouting “Whatch where you're going!”, “Slow down, slow down before the turn!” “There are no shields on this thing, you realise that?!” and shrieking like a five-year old girl (a very very stereotypical five year old girl). At one point Teyla turns to him (“Eyes on the road! Eyes on the road!”) and says:

'Captain Cadman lent me this car, I will not dream of harming it.' The rest of the drive he spent with his eyes closed.

When they get out at the gas station, John relaxes enough to finally notice that he was the only one even remotely concerned about Teyla's driving skills. Miffed, he nudges Rodney:

'I can't believe you haven't said a word. You always bitch at me when I fly or drive anything. Do you only do that to annoy me or something?'
Rodney rolls his eyes.

'This is Teyla,' he answers in that helpful way he has, before stalking off to pay for gas. John looks at Ronon, hoping for some sympathy.

'Bitch be crazy,' shrugs the big guy. Yep, it's settled, John's going to have words with O'Neill about what sort of things it is appropriate to teach aliens
 
2. The first time Cadman blew something up.

Chief Warrant Officer James Mead looked at the woman, then back at the blast door. Well, a section of the blast door that they were using for the exercise. He wasn't sure he could handle the woman's grin.

'Sir,' he addressed the man inspecting the 'door' with him. 'Laura Cadman is no doubt talented but I am not entirely sure she has any business handling explosives.'

Major Young squinted at him.

'And why is that?'

'Well, first of all, sir, she didn't follow the orders.'

'I don't know, Mead, I'm pretty sure you said 'Go make some holes in it' to her,' Mead's voice was tinged with amusement.

'Yes, sir, but I did not mean that literally.'

'Well, Mead, that just reflects on you. In the field she won't have time to decide whether her CO is being literal or not.'

Mead flushed.
'I am also not entirely convinced of her mental stability...”

'Oh, for God's sake, the best EOD experts are never entirely sane. You should know that. Her grin may be scaring you, but that's just cause she likes to make things go boom. I like it too.”

'Yes, sir, but, but, but BLOWING A SMILEY FACE IN A DOOR?!”
The Major grinned.

'Cool, huh?'
 
3. How about the all-girl team, and you can have an OC replace the (agreed, very awesome) lady who died? They play the other SGA gate teams in the annual basketball competition; maybe they don't win, but they sure as hell beat SGA-1

Miko doesn't believe in stereotypes or labels, she's learned enough about the uniqueness of people in her years with the Stargate Programme, but it is easier for her to keep track of people she is not close with by cataloging them in her head. Sometimes the labels are obvious: at first, Ronon was simply “The big guy” in her head. Sometimes they are obscure: Doctor Parish is the 'Pretzel Guy' (she will never disclose the reason for that particular nickname, but she no longer eats pretzels).

She does remember the names of the SGA 7 team members and she is not ashamed to admit to the fact that it's really only due to them all being female. There is Major Teldy, the Feminist, and Sergeant Mehra, The Creepy Girl (its her overuse of the word creepy, rather than actual creepiness) and Doctor Porter, the Nicer One.

Despite this Miko still pauses when she has to remember their first names.

She remembers Captain Vega's first name, because Miko believes that sacrifice should never be forgotten.

She also remembers the name of the woman who eventually replaced her. Because of a basketball game.

Miko is pretty sure that no one really expected SGA 1 to win the gate teams basketball competition: Teyla and Ronon never played the game and even if Doctor Mckay has it was highly unlikely he'd be any good. They still get mocked mercilessly when they lose in their very first game. To SGA 7. Who are not exactly brilliant either, but they have the new girl to help them.

As the game progresses, Miko starts calling her the Devious Fourth. Her basketball skill is probably about Sheppard's level, but she feints and confuses and misdirects like no one Miko ever knew.

Miko asks for her name after the game is over. It is important to remember the name of someone who could challenge your standing as the current Atlantis Poker Champion.
 

2 fics for promts from the sg1_five_things  


Five things Teyla held on to as keepsakes when she went to live back on Athos during the Return.

A photograph of the team and Elizabeth. To remember her new family.

Lorne's old and discarded paintbrush. To remember all the ways the Lanteans surprised her.

Kate's pen. To remind herself that even a leader needed someone to confide in.

The shoulder patch from her uniform. To remember Atlantis.

The recipe for Elizabeth's favourite dish. To tell herself that the real Lanteans will come back.
 

Five advanced cultures which never got the chance to share their technology with the Tau'ri.

Before there were the Ancients, the Asgard, the Nox or the Furlings, there were Menavan. They are still thriving and if the Tau'ri ever reach their galaxy, they will happily share their wisdom.

The Setarien Protectionist Party won the election for the first time in almost fifty years a month before SGC tried dialing their address. They lost the government seats two days after the SGC's last attempt to get through.

The Al'mi never liked the Ancients. They were very insistent that under no circumstances will they have any stargates in their solar system. To the point that they cloaked the whole thing.

The Veles were very ecological. During the Unity Enlightenment they destroyed all their technology and within a few generations – all the knowledge of it. Daniel was more or less convinced that their legends were just memories of the Goa'uld occupation.

Thor considers telling the Tau'ri about Furlings. About their treachery and the War that followed. But that is a part of a very distant past that has no right being remembered by anyone.