le_russe_satan | (no subject) (Reply)

In the Russian net there has been active discussion of an 'episode' of Napoleon's life on St. Helena, or to be precise, a story of how someone's hens got into his garden and how after fruitless complaints Napoleon shot them. XD Of course, the 'wild chickens' comment from Sharpe was remembered. Next followed a suggestion that there should definitely be a tragicomedy 'Napoleon and the Wild Hens or the Curse of St. Helena' written. O_o Since the suggestion was mine, I took it upon myself to write this (translating from Russian):

Scene 1.

Island of St. Helena. The garden behind Napoleon's house. Birds twitter softly. Suddenly several hens, clucking happily, get in through a hole in the fence. After a few moments, Napoleon looks out of the window, frowns, disappears. Steps into the garden.
- Go! Go! - scares the hens away.

Scene 4.

... With a broom, Napoleon chucks the hens out of the garden. Sighs.
- They are almost like the damn English, - disappears into the house. Through the window one can see him trowing a knife into Wellington's portrait.

Scene 8.
- Shit! Be damned! - chases the hens around the garden. One of them, with an especially large beak, manages to strike him on the leg. An untraslatable flow of French and Sicilian phrases follows.

Scene 12.
Saint-Denis, horrified:
- This is madness!
Napoleon, stuffing the chicken into the pot:
- This is St. Helena!

Also I have overloaded on Sharpe/Wellington fic which proved to be plentiful and of good quality on Russian language sites. *sighs happily*