Sharpe joke

OMG. I was thinking about the Napoleonic Wars (totally Sharpe's fault) and remembered a russian joke that features a famous folklore character of the time, and it's perfect for substituting Sharpe into it!!! So I did it....

La Marquesa is at the ball. She dances with Lord Wellington. 'Arthur, isn't it grease on your collar?'. 'Damn, how could I miss such a terrible flaw in my costume, I'm totally destroyed" (he walks away). Then she dances with Lord Rossendale. 'John, isn't there a dip of sauce on your tunic?" (Rossendale faints). Finally she's dancing with Sharpe. 'Major,your boots are all covered in mud!'. "It's not mud, it's shit. Don't worry, ma'm, it'll fall off once it dries up."

God, I'm so lame....XD